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Chris “Cy Young” Roth Gets Hitched, The "Cave-Man" Returns and www.FUBARHQ.com publishes it's 40th online edition! (...Plus a bunch of other s#!+!)


FUBAR Hall-Of-Famers - Dave "Mater", Chris "Cy Young" Roth and Kevin 'Wild Thing" Russo - "The Three Stooges" (Orlando, FL!)


Hello Fubarians,

Hope all is well this 1st quarter of 2012 – or as many believe, the year of the apocalypse!?...  Guess we have 11 months to get our house in order?  Not the FUBARs of course, we’ve been square since 1992!  Time capsule’s tucked neatly away in Central Texas and if the ball starts to spin off the axis, the Cyber Kid’s Brain will be cryogenically stored for when the aliens come to investigate what the heck happened!

All seriousness aside, there have of course been major events in the FUBAR timeline during the end of 2011!  We have the Cyber Kid and Mark Armadillo’s “not so secret” meeting of the FUBAR Upper Management, a visit with a Six Foot Rat AND of course the major story that had the paparazzi buzzing at the end of 2011 - Chris “Cy Young” Roth tied the knot!  (Yes!  Someone dared to say “Yes” to the guy!?… Finally!?... :o)  We have all this and more.  So buckle up, please keep your hands and feet in the vehicle at all times and first and foremost – Enjoy the ride – this is the FUBAR News 2012!...

       So, back in early September, the Cyber Kid made (one of many) visits to the wonderful (and cold) city of Minneapolis.  Typicaly, the Cyber Kid doesn't "stay" in "Minne" long but this was that rare occasion where an overnight was called for.  Turns out that the Cyber Kid reached out the "Toxic Twins" and while Steve "Handjob" was unable to take a meeting with the Kid (What?!  Really?!  Wow, look at what 10 years does to a friendship?!)  Brian "I'm Such a" Messer was available to partake. 

       So, with (jackets) and our "game faces" (which looked more like a grimace from Brian) on, the boys took in all the sites and sounds Minne had to offer?!  (Which meant we went to Hooters and a local joint called Jersey's; which has the current Red Bull Flugtag Record!)

       "Holy smokes!  We have all this culture and stuff like that here and all the Kid wants to do is go to the Mall of America and Hooters!  What a  loser!?"  Brian was reported as muttering under his breath when asked by paparazzi how the Fubar Reunion went.  Needless to say, Brian was removed (promptly) from the FUBAR Christmas Card and Endowment fund list!...  Watch for more on this continuing story...

The Cyber Kid & Brian "Cave-Man" M.

      September closed with a set-back for the FUBAR organization as the FUBAR Matriarch (aka "The Emperor") suffered a major health set-back!  Many trips from FUBARHQ in Central Texas to the Florida Gulf Coast ensued and rolling into November, the FUBAR Upper Management managed to squeeze a trip to Central Florida  to witness the nuptials of Chris “Cy Young” Roth...  So, meeting up with the FUBAR dynamic duo of Kevin and Denise, the Cyber Kid and company had a good time.  Of course the paparazzi were out in full force (there were three of them there!?) 

        "Chris looks happy?!" the Cyber Kid was quoted as saying during the ground-breaking event.  "He looks scared?  A bit stiff, wooden if you ask me?"  Kevin "Wild Thing" was overheard muttering to the bartender after his fifth Tom Collins and then added, "No wait!?... That was ME at MY wedding!?... Yeah, I guess he looks fine... for a guy!  Not that that's my thing or anything?!...  Good grief I think I need another drink!"

       "Chris looks drunk?!"  was all Denise had to say... "No darling, that's you're husband" someone was overheard shouting at the former FUBAR Star First-Baseman.  "Go **** yourself!"  Denise shouted and then it was ON boys and girls!...  "I've never seen anything like it?!" One guest was quoted as saying adding; "It was complete chaos and mayhem and then to top it off... Elvis' showed up and that's when we knew we had to get the **** outta there!"  Several guests and two Elvis were fortunate to leave with minor injuries... the guest that reportedly started the incident by shouting at Denise was last seen running (shirtless) from the venue?!...


The Cyber Kid and Wild Thing!

Wild Thing, Denise "The Wall" and Mater!


       In addition to the Roth Event of 4th Quarter 2011, the Cyber Kid managed to make his way over to see Mr. Mark "Avocado!"  for some major BEvERage consumption and gaming*  (* by "gaming" we mean a total nerdy, geek-out strategy board game dork-fest!?)

       Bringing along a suitcase (Yes boys and girls a suitcase) FULL of nothing more than Strategy Board Games, the Cyber Kid and Avo conducted a "serious" gaming session.  Reporters were on hand to record the event and at one point, the stakes were so high, the Cyber Kid was quoted as "putting up the FUBAR empire" as collateral on a bet!

       "It was never gonna happen!"  The Cyber Kid was quoted as saying later, adding; "I mean come on, it would NEVER hold up in court or anything, I was just trying to show the guy I meant business!...  Anyway, I didn't lose on that round, so who cares anyway - moot point!?"

       "I had the little guy against the ropes.  He was done, DONE!  It was only a matter of time before the whole Empire was mine!  Of course that was pulled off the table long before I had any chance of actually winning it!?... He's a chump if you ask me!" was Avo's quote when asked about the exchange by reporters!  Avocado also added later; "By the way, I have some nice glossy 8X10s of our fearless leader on my kitchen floor if anyone is interested!  Let's just say that his idea of strategy after a few BEvERageS is WAY different than say, um, I don't know - ANYONE ELSE!?..."

       "SHUT UP MARK!" was the Cyber Kid's only reply?!...

Avocado makes his move?... Or does he?...



       Later in the quarter, specifically the holidays, the Cyber Kid (and entourage) again made there was towards central Florida for some sun, fun and of course FUBAR shenanigans!?...  Between the Cane Corso puppy drool, Dolphin spit, Sting Rays and Pirates, fun times were had by all!  The FUBAR Upper Management (consisting of the Cyber Kid and Armadillo) were able to even sneak in a little "fishing" while they were out. 

       "Damn near pulled me out of my canoe!" Mark A had to say after his rod snagged the "modest" shark, adding: "If it was for the Kid, I more than likely would've had to let the fish go and save my canoe!"

       Eyewitnesses say they spotted the two fishing off the coast in what appeared to be small one-man canoes when one witness said, "We saw a dark shape approach one of them and then Wham!  He was hooked!  The big guy looked surprised at first, the little guy was too busy playing with is worm?!..." (WTF?)

       Anyway, reports get a bit "questionable" at this point as to the "exact" details of the catch BUT suffice to say that our Upper Management had everything under control?!   "Gotta say that's the biggest damn fish I've ever seen!" was Avo's quote after dragging the behemoth ashore!  "Well, good thing you had me to whack it over the head while it tried to eat your canoe!?"  the Cyber Kid was quoted! 

       So, nabbing a record setting Great White is no small feat and the two FUBAR Hall of Famers of course took it all in stride - posing for pictures and signing autographs...  (Of course the Kid had BEvERage in hand for the event!?...) 


The Cyber Kid and Armadillo show off - "We Need a Bigger Boat!?"!

       Finally...As you know there are FUBARHQ, FUBAR News Corporation and FUBARian fans all over the globe.  That said, it appears that we recently got a request from some "fans" that we might consider questionable by most accounts?  You see, these fans live in a region of the globe that as of late has been under much scrutiny for it's "anti-USA" sentiment.  However as a growing empire, we are willing to overlook "most" people's shortcomings and not consider their political affiliations... after all, they are first and foremost, fans!  Loyal, dedicated and lifelong fans.  So these "gentlemen" requested some FUBARHQ souvenirs for there homes?!  Well, our marketing department got right on it and we're happy to announce that we sent them a special package with all the explosive FUBAR content they could ever want!?  We even autographed it!  Delivery should be any day now and with the military precision of our FUBAR Courier (along with a little help from 9.8 ft/s2) I bet they will just love it?!...  We'll let you know if we get any thank you cards!?...

FUBARchives - Super Explosive Edition; Packed w/ tons of new content! It's a one of a kind, we even autographed it for them!?... (Can you say collectible?)  ;-)

       Finally, in other news, seeing as how the Cyber Kid has his main HQ in Central Texas AND seeing as how he hangs out at establishments with the word "Hooters" and/or "Redneck" in it;  The FHQ marketing had such a success with the new "VOTE FOR DAVE, GET FREE BAIT!" posters supplementing the "VOTE FOR DAVE, GET FREE WINGS!" campaign, that they just released three new posters using the various slogans!  So get out there and cast your vote!!!     

POSTER #1 - w/ Supporter Erika POSTER #2 - w/ Supporter Chantel POSTER #3 - w/ Supporters Devin & Chantel



       Don't forget to check out the Cyber Kid, along with the D-Mobile III (aka "The Beast") was a featured extra "Officer Handlebar" in the Season 2, Episode 1 premiere of the break-out web hit The Variants

       The Variants follows the zany adventures of comic shop proprietor, Richard and his loyal band of store employees, Barry, Kelli, Joe and the elusive Vlad as the (mostly) quartet find themselves in the most precarious of situations.  For more information about the show or to watch the episode click any of the respective links below -


Season 2 Episode 1

(My Scene starts at 6:40)


Also, be sure to come back next quarter when we explain this picture -


Check out this great picture of "Little Dude" on the Beach!


and this picture...


Iced Tea w/ a "little" Lemon!?...


Oh Yeah and this one!?...


Self Explanatory...

Well that's all for this quarter;

As well, don't forget about downloading the COMPLETE FUBARchives 2011 edition!  Unlocking the FUBAR vaults, every FUBAR document in HQ, the FUBAR Press Corp. has been painstakingly recreated  scanned.  Unlike the FUBARchives newsletter anthology sent to select FUBAR's back in 2000 this collection contains ALL of those newsletters as well as NEVER BEFORE SEEN stats, rosters, receipts and photos!  Effectively - EVERY SINGLE PIECE OF PAPER we have pertaining to the FUBAR's!  DON'T FORGET - IT'S ENTIRELY FREE!!!  By clicking the link provided, you may begin to download any section or the entire FUBARchive!  So please - Enjoy!"




Be sure to visit the newest in the FUBAR Publishing News, the FUBAR Entertainment Group repertoire - CHEEKY MONKEY's photo blog/online journal.  UPDATED and sorted by year, the monkey has 6 albums and 1000+ captioned photos (Not to Mention the UN-CUT album - if you can find it!?  featuring 250+ pics of the monkey in the raw!?); The monkey is swingin'?...


"He Gets Around..."

And finally, here's yet another installment of WTF...

24.7 inches tall!  That's a real &%$*#! Human?!...

"B-Jay"... for less than $2.00... just sayin'!?...

Well gang, until next time, this has been your faithful reporter with the latest, almost-quarterly, load of gruel!  Enough FUBAR for ya?!...


Dave "Cyber Kid" - CEO/Founder FUBAR's est.1989


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