So just what the heck IS the Cyber Kid doing? That
my friends is the $23 dollar question. The FNC has been digging a bit
lately and we are not so sure everything adds up - we think all this talk of
"research" and "ballooning" is nothing more than a "smoke and mirror"
campaign manufactured by none other than the infamous Cyber Kid himself to
cover up what he is "really" doing in the arctic circle and New Mexico.
"Research" our backsides Cyber Kid - You're a liar and a cheat and we plan
to prove it. Let's look at the evidence shall we? -
First we came across this
photo late 2004 when the Cyber Kid revealed that he had returned from his
new "mission" based job profile at work -
Next we found the Cyber Kid in early 2005 with this person, who is
he? Is he a pathetic loser who has nothing better to do than
role-play as a character from a movie trilogy that he hangs onto as
the only childhood memory he has that doesn't involve his father
making a drunken spectacle of himself, OR Is he an Elite Fighting
Soldier from the 505 who is looking to recruit the Cyber Kid and
what looks to be his offspring as well - The Sith always come in
pairs they say! - Darth M is beginning to make a lot more sense now
but we still have nothing concrete yet, or do we... |
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As this picture hit our desks in July of 2005 - The infamous AJ
attack upon the Cyber Kid. He claims research but what the
!&%# were Jeff "I know nuh-theeng" Engel and the Cyber Kid doing
chasing down the most feared and elusive creature known to man -
Home-Limpus aka The AJ! We were beginning to see a trend that
was leading to Black Ops of some sort - Grey area our @$$es Cyber
Kid... we can smell something and it's not just your swampy feet
buddy!... So that brings us to - |
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The infamous alien "patch" controversy of October 2005! FNC
began to delve deep into the activities of The Cyber Kid and
although he claimed he was only flying "logistical" and "recovery"
operations for the CSBF, we were very skeptical with the close
proximity to Roswell and the numerous UFO sightings reported
directly related to the "balloons' his organization were launching,
but if you're going to throw accusations like these around, you have
to be sure and yet, the Cyber "Teflon" Kid still didn't leave us the
smoking gun, so we left it for the public to judge ... |
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Then more speculation arose in January of 2006! If the Cyber
Kid was really not chasing these balloons and merely using it as a
cover up for his true operations as a member of the Rebel Alliance,
these next two photos baffled us! Here we see him again in the
company of the Empire's elite? But then we received this
picture, the same day - |
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What was the Cyber Kid with this nefarious character? - Kenny Baker
aka R2D2, a "known" member of the rebel alliance and a traitor to
the mighty Empire. Why would he even be hanging out with such
a person? Surely the Empire would have to know of this - This
had to be a trick? Or, perhaps he was only a spy for the Rebel
Alliance and the early shot of him with Imperial members was yet
another ruse - Again we just didn't know - there had to be something
to it - There COULD NOT merely be this many people in costume - Are
there that many sad people in the world? We didn't know and it
left us scratching our heads ... our enormous, misshapen heads ...
until, about a week later, we got this photo - |
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What does it show? Well still not the
smoking gun we were after, it does add a little more to the puzzle
but the puzzle as we are starting to find out is a much larger piece
of work than we once thought! Jeff "Dave's sidekick" Engel is
seen here in the back of what our experts in the FNC believe now to
be a mobile intergalactic telecommunications vehicle (originally it
was supposedly a vehicle designed to help determine if aliens really
existed during the initial investigation by the FNC to determine if
the Cyber Kid was in fact chasing aliens! That endeavor was
apparently overridden (without our knowledge - he is the Founder/CEO
you know) by The Cyber Kid and Jeff recruited to help him
instead!?... So, where did that leave us really?... |
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Here. Again we see the Cyber Kid with members of the Empire's
elite 505th in March of 2006. And again we see him with the
one known only as Little Dudicus (Although many at FNC felt the
Dudicus was not there of his own volition.) So our
investigation returned once again to his possible involvement with
the Empire. AT the same time we receive this from an unnamed
source (Mark "cover-it-up" Armadillo) we also received this photo -
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Depicting the Cyber Kid in some sort of control room. Rumors
began circulating that the Cyber Kid had been in fact manipulating
key personnel including members of the esteemed FUBAR News
Organization, using them as mindless zombies to alter the news to
keep us off his trail. Recovering from that episode, we were
once again hard on the trail of this elusive and diabolical
mastermind... |
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Which brought us to just a few months ago (July 2006) where the following
pictures surfaced at the FNC -
Here we see in the
first shot, The Cyber Kid, Jeff "Benedict Arnold" E and The home-limpus; AJ
- supposedly some ferocious creature hell-bent on violence? Hmm
something's not right here, he looks pretty docile to us? Then we move
on to The Cyber Kid's little venture up to the Arctic Circle - What was that
all about? Perhaps scouting for a better suited alien landing sight,
well away from the prying eyes of the general public? Which brings us
lastly to the picture of Jeff on some sort of "chopper-bike-thingy"
- We included this one here... well basically because it's pretty silly
actually and we think Jeff may be a few cards short of a full deck!?
(But that's for another News service to determine, we're still trying to
figure out this Cyber Kid enigma!)
At the same time we received the last three photos, we also received the
photo depicted above. OK, so where does that leave the investigation,
right here it was when we started - limbo. So, the FNC STILL does not
have a smoking gun but never you mind, we're on the cusp of something big
here and we mean to find out just what it is - time is our ally. So,
whether or not the Cyber Kid is in fact a member of the Empire? Or
he's a spy for the Rebel Alliance? Or he's actually chasing aliens and not
"recovering" research payloads? Or he's looking for landing sites for
an alien invasion in the arctic circle? Or any number of other
possibilities, there IS one thing we are certain of - he's up to something
AND he has questionable taste in friends! There you have it in a
nutshell folks - he's a moron - Ow! - Arghh!... <radio hiss/popping/beeping sounds> ...
What ... was ...I ...saying ...just ...then? ... I ... am ... sorry ... I
... have ... been ... incorrect. ... The ... Cyber ... Kid ... is ...
great ... and ... not ... controlling ... our ...
... your ... minds. ... Thank ... you ...
So ... until ... next ... time
... this ... is ... your ... ever ... faithful ... and ... mind ... altered
... reporter -
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