ipsa scientia potestas est

(Note: The FNC is best viewed at a screen setting of 1024 X 768 or higher.)



N3.gif (3182 bytes)

H3.gif (3194 bytes)

F3.gif (3163 bytes)

Net.GIF (3191 bytes)

stuff.GIF (3176 bytes)





AtomicP2.GIF (3129 bytes)









beads.gif (7399 bytes)


beads.gif (7399 bytes)



He's a Member of the Rebel Alliance and a Traitor? ... Take Him Away

Imperial Snow-Stormtrooper, Darth M, Darth V and the "Fett"  (ComicCon Oct '05)


       Well hello my fine feathered friends...?  Hope all are well this first quarter of '06!  Wow!  Happy New Year for '06!  Can't believe how fast the 21st century moves huh? - Almost at warp speed?  It seemed like just yesterday we were ringing in the new millennium frantically trying to stave off the Y2K Armageddon by downloading a Windows Patch, stockpiling water, ice, and canned goods and as many BEvERages as would fit in a bathtub filled with said water and ice.   

       Well we've been busy here at FHQ/FNC headquarters and I first, I must apologize for my delay in getting an update done, bu- ("You're a $*#@! Slacker Dave!") - Ah it's great to have Jeff E. back working at the FNC! - "HEY ANYBODY?  Who let the "E" out of the box again?  Will somebody get "E" back in the box!"  Anyway as I was saying, or excuse me, apologizing for being a "slacker"... 'er No, I mean to say "lazy" - No.  Wait.  It's got to be your bull.  "You have derailed!"  - Shut up Jeff! - "WILL SOMEBODY COME PUT "E" AWAY NOW DAMMIT!"

       So seriously (or as serious as we get here at the FNC) we've been busy, so we blew off the fourth quarter update and now we're faced with the dilemma of too MUCH News.  That's right, believe it or not folks - the FNC has too much to tell you, so much that we have no choice but to provide you with brand new content over at the DARTH M side of the news room as well.  

       So before you go over there to see what shenanigans have been going on, here's where we were when we left - 


       We had recently discovered the Cyber Kid was "chasing" NASA payloads around the country, or so he claimed but a renowned Professor - Professor C. Overup was trying to uncover the true meaning of a patch located on the arm of the Cyber Kid we noticed in a recent picture (see sidebar) and had stated that he "...thinks that it may be part of a covert "Black Ops" unit called "Nostromo" that conducts Anti Alien-Proliferation operations near the White Sands, NM restricted area..."  but also went on to say that he could not "...confirm or deny this..." and that "...this is nothing more than a theory we are working on at the moment..."  So where are we on that story?  Well after much deliberation and squeezing some cash out of our Board of Trustees (aka wives) the FNC put together a crack team of investigators spearheaded by none other than Jeff "E.T." Engel to figure out what was "really" going on with the Cyber Kid.  And here now are the results of that investigations - In his own (our) words from an undisclosed location (Orlando, FL) ladies and gentlemen - Jeff "E.T." Engel ... <mild applause>

       So I was tasked with the task of running a task force and tasking people to find out what the Cyber Kid was "actually" doing with these alleged "payloads"  Which at the time we didn't buy and believed to be nothing more than Alien scum that had to be eradicated from our planet.  I'm no dummy, I saw War of the Worlds, Invasion of the Body Snatchers, Aliens and Cocoon and I've got a formula - (Aliens + Alien Acidy Spit + Brainwashing + Old People) = Bad Times Squared  or if you prefer -  

(A + AAS + Bwash + Oldpeps) = BT2

       So I set out with my team (of 1 including myself) and here's the results of my investigation (from my journal) -

DAY 1 

0900 - Well, if I'm going to prove the Cyber Kid is chasing aliens, then first I have to find out if there are actually any aliens to chase.  Hit the nearest 7-11 for soda and a dozen donuts - Alien Fact Finding Food - and off I went.  OK parked the truck and set up a deep space radio receiver capable of "hearing" anything within pretty much like 100 miles or so, so I figure I'll hear "any" alien transmissions that way. 


0900 - OK, been a week and my set-up is getting too much interference from the human "element." I have to remove that and head out to a more remote location.  Note to self - There's a lot of  "pop" music out there on the airwaves -  figure the aliens might put us out of our misery just for that violation of intergalactic law - Kids today  huh?  ...Breeeakkkk...Awayyyyy...


2100 - OK, set up in my new loca - OW! <smack> F$#!@& mosquitoes are huge out here. <swat> No more luck on receiving any transmissions - stupid aliens.  Bet they know I'm listening and are avoiding the place - Cunning B@$tards.  OW! <smack> Mosquitoes have tasted blood... Game is on now $#@^&!.  Cyber Kid growing suspicious as I have not spoken to him in a few days... asked about the headsets too.  Told him I for got I had them on - phew, that was close - good cover on my part.  <swat>  They don't put me in charge for nothin' you know.  (FNC Note - Compensation for the job was unlimited donuts and gas fees - receipts required.  Cost to you the reader - nothing!)


2000 - Mosquit - OW! <smack>... are relentless.  Must increase the receiver strength and bug spray if I have any hope of getting proof of life out here.  More later, much McGuyvering to be done...

DAY 10

2337 - OW! <smack> OK.  Upgrades done.  Amazing what you can do with a sunshade and an umbrella.  I can hear great now but still no Aliens - stupid Aliens.  On the upside I can hear ESPN and the - OW! <smack> ... neighboring town.  Smith's fight like cats and dogs over there on account <swat> of Mr. Smith's predilection to the booze and porn channels.  Also, can hear lots of growling from A.J.'s direction.  Hope his medication is not - OW! <smack> wearing off.  Wouldn't want to hunt that thing down again... $#!@^* MOSQUITOES! OW! <smack> Guess I'll stay out here till the job is done...

0315 - Help. <swat swat swat>  Help. <swat>   Mayday.  Mayday. OW! <smack>  Mossies in the wire, Mossies in the wire... <swat> ...

0337 - Fought the larger ones off, but <swat> they keep coming... OW! <smack>  Growing tired...  OW!  <smack> There's just <swat> too <swat> many...  OW! <smack>  Need to change receiver to transmitter OW!  ...  Need Help! OW! ...

0423 - Captain's Log - This - OW!  May be my - OW!  Last Entry.  I'm - OW!  Weak...  <swat> Mosquitoes...  OW!  Taken too much blood...  Must - OW!  Get help... OW! <smack> Mus...       Must... OW!  Find <swat> shelter... 

So tired... OW!  Just go to sleep...

OW!  Just sleep... all a <swat> OW!  Bad dream...

So tired...

Sleep now...OW!





DAY 43

0900 - Back in the saddle again.  So, a short stay at the hospital (FNC NOTE - 33 days later?) gave me some blood and I'm right back to it.  I guess some hunters found me at 0614 that morning sitting in my truck muttering about my Mommy and aliens.  Cunning B@$tards those aliens - I fell right into their little trap!  Sure they said I might have sustained some minor brain damage due to the lack of blood, but that will not stop me.  I will be stayed by some little green men (or whatever they look like) No.  You cannot stop me.  I will get to the bottom of these Cyber Kid shenanigans - trust me....

Sure, they might mock me at the FHQ.  Sure they may make fun of me because I carry around my Vader PEZ dispenser (comfort food people.)  Sure I might drool now and a gain for no reason, but let me tell you I didn't get the "E.T." for nothing.  Stands for "Exceptionally Tough"  (I heard it was "Extra Tubby")  NO!  NO!  It's not that! ... Not that!  "Tough."  It's "tough!"  (OK man, just kidding.)  "TOUGH!"

DAY 44

2100 - I see the suspects (Cyber Kid's) car.  Figure if I want to find out what the Cyber Kid is really up too once and for all, his ride will reveal it - Going to just jimmy the lock and see what he's got.  

2114 - You see, when all else fails just go the source.  Probably hiding aliens in the truck or something.  Let's see here...  

2115 - hmm...  

2116 - Should be just as easy as ...  HUH!   WHA?...  No, I was jus...  No wait!  Honest Dave.   No!  I was just...  No!  No!  The Board set it up...  I'm innocent...  I'm just a patsy...  HELP!   HELP!   

       "HEY!  Somebody come get the "E" back in the box!  HELLO?  ANYONE?  Come on people, he keeps throwing PEZ at me!  ANYONE?  ANYONE?  What a bunch of slackers at this place!

       Well anyway folks, that's the last photo we had when we found Jeff's journal.  Guess we may never get to the bottom of all this "alleged" alien crap.  Boy some people must sit and just dream up this garbage huh?  Always trying to invoke a riot or some such just for the sake of media ratings.  Not us here at the FNC though, never do that sort of thing ... <cough> <cough> <Bull$#!T>  

OK, so you want more then?  Well cruise on back to the 11-2005 NEWS (which is also new) and read all about the FUBAR REUNION.  (Can we say Brian and Steve = Toxic Twins folks)  Here, I'll even put a link in for you to click on - 



       In addition, be sure to check out the goings on with the Cyber Kid himself over at the DARTH M NEWS Link - 

       So, other than that, there has been quite a few updates and additions to the site.  There's a new FOTQ featured, still even more pics of future FUBAR Hall of Famer Alex aka "The Mini Cyber" #2.3 in the ALEX section, 90 Hooters restaurants listed in the FOOD section plus a whole lot more (there might even be a Partridge in a Pear tree somewhere in here?)  So, grab yourself another cool BEvERage sit back, relax, kill a few more brain cells and enjoy the show ...

Until next time (when we'll explain these three pictures) - 

This has been your ever loyal, but always self preserving, reporter -

Dave "Cyber Kid" - CEO/Founder FUBAR's est.1989


News FUBARchives

FNC ANNEX 11-2005
FNC ANNEX 10-2005
FNC ANNEX 7-2005
FNC ANNEX 5-2005
FNC ANNEX 3-2005
FNC ANNEX 1-2005
FNC ANNEX 11-2004
FNC ANNEX 7-2004
FNC ANNEX 5-2004
FNC ANNEX 1-2004
FNC ANNEX 3-2003
FNC ANNEX 11-2002
FNC ANNEX 9-2002
FNC ANNEX 6-2002
FNC ANNEX 3-2002
FNC ANNEX 11-2001
FNC ANNEX 8-2001
FNC ANNEX 7-2001
FNC ANNEX 3-2001
FNC ANNEX 10-2000
FNC ANNEX 7-2000
FNC ANNEX 3-2000
FNC ANNEX 11-1999C
FNC ANNEX 11-1999B
FNC ANNEX 11-1999A