ipsa scientia potestas est

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...Chris “Sticky Thumbs” Roth, seen here in a recent photo with the Cyber Kid.  Roth, also believed to be involved in the CYber Kid shooting in England over a year ago was available for comment and his comment was, ‘I have no comment!”  Our reporter then proceeded to harass Chris until we got this statement (and the $50 bucks helped too)

Roth - “Look, I’ve known this Dave "Cyber-Crack-Kid" character for a long time.  I’ve known Avellino too quite a while.  Jesse, I know him, but not that well, but anyway, could the Cyber-Dork and Avellino dream up this harebrained scheme and then proceed to recruit the amount of people required to pull it off and make sure no one squeals?  You’re damned right they could, but I don’t think they did it!  Seems like just a bit to much to do if you ask me?”

FNC - “Mr. Roth what are your thoughts to the allegations that YOU were the real brains behind this whole fiasco?”

Roth - “WHAT!  Are you kidding me?  Look I don’t even like Dave all that much.  I mean I hang out with him because the kid needs all the help he can get.  You know, kinda like Russo!?”

Roth - “Look I’ll tell you what; you want to hear it was me? Fine, I did it!  I planned the whole thing.  The original break-up of the FUBAR upper management, the loss of the name by Avellino, the shooting, the framing of Rhodes,  hell I’ll even take credit for that whole Tinky Winky deal.  There is however one loose end you didn’t clear up!  What about the one FUBAR no one has heard from, or seen in a vey long time.  The one who keeps to himself?

FNC - “The infamous RUSSO clan?  Denise and Kevin or as they are called in closer circles The “Bonnie & Clyde” of the engineering world?”

Roth - Very good, but incorrect.  I was thinking about Scott “the Horrible” Hager or hey even better that Gordo kid...


Roth - “Dude think about it though, Hager makes sense.  I mean he was the only guy who could have sold out.  He was driving a freaking corvette when he was still in school!  I mean that’s suspect right there!?  Gordy’s a little shaky too, but I think that guy’s STILL driving a moped so he’s not gettin’ benefits from anywhere.  That makes Hager your likely prospect. So now that you have your lead go find another person to harass and let me get down to my Balle....’er Tae Bo class...”

            Well it appears the story has taken yet another twist.  Scott “the Horrible” Hager!  Who knew?  Could he be the one responsible for the almost catastrophic events that have rocked the FUBAR world?  Unknown, but Bonnie & Clyde did make this statement, ‘That Scott guy, he always seemed a little “off” if you know what I mean.  Kind of a “low-talker”  Always looking over his shoulder too.  Yeah and he would always leave like RIGHT after a game.  Like there was a big emergency to get to.  I dunno man seems a little weird to us, but so does trying to incorpoarate a 3.14X103 resistance bearing load into a NACA MAC with a 2 3/4 inch drill bit with a standard screwdriver....(he he <snicker> he he)??????...”

            As Scott “the horrible” Hager was unavailable for comment, the only other person able to make a statement to FNC was Ed “Stand by Me” Gordon.  Ed had this to say, “Look here mister, don’t let that little "Cyber-Kid" Dave guy sway you any different.  That kid’s bad news and I’d bet you a nickel to the dollar that he’s behind the whole thing.  I mean I love the kid like a brother, BUT; a brother I’d lock doors around if you know what I mean?  Or;... one I wouldn’t drop soap near either, but HEY, that’s another story.  Hager’s not your boy, stick with Dave and if you can’t get it out of him, hang him upside down and shake ‘em till it falls out like they did to him in High School!”

          So gang, it appears that we are at the beginning once again and going nowhere fast...The one question on everyone’s mind though and still unanswered is this - If it was a consipracy, why? and for what purpose?  Well, we may never know the answer folks, but if there are any major developments in this story, be assured that FNC will be there and will report it to you, our loyal people...Once again this has been FNC bringing you the up-to-the-minute in FUBAR World Events... “Dammit we’ll never figure it out I mean what do these cabbages want (uh, we’re still on!) Quick, go to commercial!...”

For images and a brief overview of the FUBAR’s “unplanned” Reunion 1999, click the arrow... (photos not available)


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