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"E" goes Dark. Do we have a FUBAR rogue agent!?...


Last seen photo of "Black Operative" Jeff "E" Lusive taken in Southeastern US.

       Hello my FUBARians.  Big events and happenings at the FUBAR HQ!?  No, we still haven't locked down the enigma known as the Cyber Kid but it does appear that "Hall Of Famer" and long-time FUBAR Jeff "E" Engel aka. Jeff "E"spionage has gone "dark" and is now acting alone and without guidance from the FUBAR hierarchy - What a strange turn of events?  (Do we have the tail wagging the dog here?)  Anyway, in order to understand these current developments, let's take you back a few weeks and explain the situation -

       Approximately 6 weeks ago, the FUBARS had their annual reunion.  Pictured here is Mark "two cents" Armadillo talking on the phone; but to whom?  Well the FUBAR operative who captured this shot had a surveillance team nearby monitoring the call and traced and confirmed the call back to a cell-phone registered to Jeff  Sn"E"aky Engel.

       FNC was uncertain as to the specific content of the cell call due to sophisticated jamming equipment on the phones themselves but it was highly suspicious as moments later Jeff arrived at their location and began "secret" conversations with Mark. 

       FNC's CEO and Founder Dave "Cyber Kid" was present during this "unscheduled" meeting between Jeff and Mark but was NOT privy to the content of the secret conversation despite highly sensitive microphone and bugging equipment present.

       So what exactly did Mark tell Jeff?  That my friends is the big question and poses a dilemma for the Cyber Kid and FUBAR Organization.  If you recall it was Mark "I have a price" Avocado who at one time was behind one of the biggest conspiracies in FUBAR history when the actual name (FUBARS) of the organization itself was lost in a merger with our arch-rivals.  Clearing himself of those allegations and subsequently reacquiring the FUBAR name, Mark had assumed the position as Captain of the Softball Division but since then, has been held under much inquiry.  His reinstatement into the organization as well has always brought with it much scrutiny from fans who began to question the validity of the Cyber Kid and the entire FUBAR organization itself.  So something such as this surreptitious rendezvous with Jeff would raise questions and concerns throughout the organization?...

       In addition to the secret talks, our FUBAR operative acquired these photos of Mark and Jeff taken by a local newspaper reporter covering the "reunion."  Seemingly innocent photos, FNC believes that Jeff (and Mark) may have been "secretly" communicating to outside conspirators via a series of hand and facial gestures.  Knowing these photos would be publicly viewed, these gestures may mean devastating results for the FUBAR camp!?  You decide for yourself but here at the FNC after careful examination, the FNC Espionage Division for Hand & Facial Gestures (FNC-ED4H&FD) has believed that "secret" messages were delivered via these photos and could be translated as follows -

Message "Echo"

Jeff - "Attention.  We have begun Operation Phase Echo.  Proceed North East as planned and wait for our further instructions.  Soon comrades ..."

Mark - "Lean.  Lean into these animals and do not let them have room to spread..."

Message "Voice"

Jeff - "...our voices will be heard and I and tell you, the bitter FUBAR Empire and their leader IS listening."

Mark - "We are at a crossroads (arms) and we will drink in a new day ... But beware the cocky infidels sneaking up behind you!"

Message "Horizon"

Jeff - "Now, look to the horizon, divide into thirds with a strong center front and prepare for the dawning of a new day and a new era for we have spoken to the Empire and they will be forced to yield..."

Mark - "Smile friends and rejoice under the Blue (New) Moon ...

Message "Vision"

Jeff - "Now go my brothers and do not be lazy, nor blind to the cause we pursue.  We will not sleep until the Blue (New) Moon has embraced us!"

Mark - "I wish good luck to you my brothers while I secretly scratch my itchy chest hair."

Message "Busted"

Jeff - "Uh, we weren.. we're not doing anything."

Mark - <whispering> "Jeff, I think the fat one knows..."

Jeff - "... Um, am I the fat one?

Mark - <whispering> "Not this time..."

       That was six weeks ago.  So after the reunion, the FUBAR News Corp had lost contact with Jeff and reported his disappearance with the FUBAR Personnel Dept. and began a covert search.  Just a few weeks later, the following photos were sent to the FUBAR News Corp. from an unnamed source (OK, it was the Cyber Kid! - "He sent them to himself?..."  "Shut up dammit, it's my story!") revealing a chilling addition to this dilemma.

       Who the heck is that guy?  Although received a few weeks later, the photo is obviously from the same night as the pictures above.  The question however is who's the cat in the background?  Another consirator? (Possibly)  A local patron? (yeah right)  Or just a man named Al Coholic?  (Again, possibly?)  In any event, the plot and or "plots" thicken until we hear more or even find Jeff N"E"farious one...

       Unfortunately however, there has been no more word about "E"s "disappearance" except for a couple weeks ago when the blurred photo at the top of this page was sent to the FUBAR News Corp.  So what do we do?  What preparation has the Cyber Kid and the FUBAR HQ done to thwart this potential threat?  Let us tell you friends, let us tell you...

         FUBAR Founder/CEO Dave "Cyber Kid" made a few calls immediately following the Jeff's disappearance and soon acquired the ever powerful "Coil of Titanium."  Rumored to have been hidden by the Federal Government due to its immense power, the "Coil of Titanium" was actually sitting in an undisclosed office in central Florida.  Through intense negotiation (I think it was a pint of BevERage and a handshake) Dave was able to acquire the powerful artifact.  He spoke about the acquisition at a recent press conference; "The Coil's been around for centuries and rumors of it's destruction were far fetched and inaccurate.  Having acquired this rare and unbelievably expensive item, I am certain that the FUBAR organization can stay any and all threats posed against it!"  The Cyber Kid's statements made FNC personnel very confident - "Our morale is high!" said one member of the organization.  "There can be only one!" Shouted another member (a bit of a geeky member but a member nonetheless!)


The Coil of Titanium (+5 to all attributes - sweet!)

       So ladies and gentlemen, there you have it, all the going's on at the FUBAR organization - The FUBARS are again under the pressure of a possible threat; Jeff "E"spionage Engel has gone rogue;  Mark "Big Brother" Armadillo is yet again potentially involved in yet another devilish plot against the FUBARs and the Cyber Kid is of course working to reign it all in by of course using the Coil of Titanium where necessary.  So that's where we're at.  Oh!  We almost forgot; The FUBAR Publishing Department has begun negotiations with the publishing house Wiley Publishing, Inc. to bring you the "Ultimate" Guides for FUBAR Specific content.  The first four books released will be -

"We are very proud and pleased with the release of these new "tomes."  They are a "must-have" for any true FUBAR fan."  The Cyber Kid said at a recent press conference.  So, now there you have all the goin's on at the FUBAR HQ.  Hope you've enjoyed and be sure to check out the Cyber Kid annex - DARTH M in order to read more about the Dummies releases there and of course the 2006 FUBAR Reunion, BBQ and Drunken Orgy.  In the meantime I'm off to read "Espionage & Spying for FUBARS" - What with this rogue agent thing and all....

So, until next quarter when we either find Jeff or figure out what makes the Cyber Kid tick (yeah right!); this has been your faithful reporter,

Dave "Cyber Kid" - CEO/Founder FUBAR's est.1989

PS - We also had this photo sent to the FNC with the others - Again we translated it's "secret" message!?...

"Viva La Revolucion! Woo Hoo... Revolucion!"

Dave CEO/Founder FUBAR's est.1989


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