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FUBARS' Coil of Titanium for Ransom!?...


The Ever-Powerful "Coil of Titanium" held at gunpoint by Kidnappers


       Hello my FUBARians.  It's a brutal time at FUBAR HQ!?  It appears now that in addition to the dilemma of Jeff "Elusive" E going "dark" and disappearing from FUBARHQ's watchful eye, the ever powerful "Coil of Titanium" (the artifact procured by the FNC to thwart any possible threat from Jeff and Mark "El Jefe-llino" to attempt a coup) has been snatched as well!  But by whom remains the unanswered question?  The FNC, feeling a bit invulnerable, had been resting comfortably knowing the Coil was in their possession that was however, until a few weeks ago when the above picture and those below were sent to the FNC <gasp!>

Photo of Captor #1 and Coil of Titanium Photo of Captor #2 and Coil of Titanium

       So what happened?  How did this unfortunate set of circumstances come to be?  Well here at the FNC, we are certain that the sudden abduction of the Coil of Titanium and the recent "disappearance" of Jeff are all too coincidental.  FNC had it's elite squad raid the primary home and secondary compound of Jeff "E"missary and although didn't actually find much of anything (except for the unusual amount of Pringles, Spackle, DVD's and Girl Scout Cookies) they did come across one key piece to this double-sided all one color puzzle - the smoking gun if you will - a book!  That's correct, we said "book!" - Not the inordinate amount of munitions, fertilizer or communist propaganda one would expect from such a nefarious creature, but a book.  However, it's not just any book mind you but a book published by none other than our very own organization! <Dramatic Pause>

       The tome in question is none other than the book mentioned (and seen to the left here) last quarter and published in cooperation with FUBAR Publishing  - Espionage & Spying for FUBARS: All the Tips and Tricks to Engage and Thwart Covert Operations.  Key word here - "Engage!?"

       So what does this all mean for the FNC and FUBARHQ?  "Honestly folks, we just don't have an answer for you."  said Dave "The Cyber Kid" at a recent press conference concerning the fate of the FUBAR Megapire.  He went on to say; "You must know that this has all come as quite a shock to us.  First the organization was faced with a rogue agent and that required many exhaustive hours and efforts by our staff to change all of our security protocols; recoding and encrypting all of our organization's "sensitive" documents.  You know what I mean - the FOTQ files, virtually unlimited amounts of Hall of Fame and FUBAR Player statistics and commemorative photo's, blackmail and embezzlement paperwork on the Cyber Kid, Unflattering photo's of various FUBARians we may use as leverage at a later date and that's just for starter's.  That doesn't include the insurmountable amount of porn, that alone would overwhelm most large server and data back-up facilities!  It was an exhaustive and almost impossible task, and I commend the men and women of the FUBARHQ and FNC organizations for taking it all in stride.   I mean it's not like we were sitting around eating ice cream, watching "HEROES" and just handed the Coil away! We were Hoodwinked ladies and gentlemen and I stand before you a broken, shell of a man! ...  OK, maybe not broken but it sucks all the same.  What with everyone always envious of your position, trying whatever they can to usurp your authority and power.  Savages, every last one of them!"  The Cyber Kid went on to blast everyone and the Local government for his organization's current situation!  That of course was just prior to being dragging out of the press conference screaming "You're all out to get me!  All of you are just jealous!  And someone tell me where the %$#& Engel is!"...

       Well FNC may be able to help the Cyber Kid with his last request.  Just in from our Covert Operations Headquarters, this photo is believed to be a recent sighting of Jeff "E"lusive. 

       "The FUBAR Photo Lab will of course put this document through the same rigorous tests and scrutiny they did during the A.J. sighting investigation" one FUBAR official said to reporters.  "We will get to the bottom of this.  We will find Jeff, that %$#&# traitor and we will above all else secure the Coil of Titanium back to it's rightful place here at FUBARHQ!"  the unnamed official (can we say "Gordo" kids?)  went on to say.  I guess we're all going to have to wait and see how this one plays out?


FNC photo believed to be Jeff in the "Red Sled"  (more to come...)

       So my faithful comrades and subjects, more "drama" at the FUBAR organization - Last quarters, the FUBARS were under the pressure of a possible threat with Jeff "E"spionage Engel going rogue and his recent meetings with Mark "Big Brother" Armadillo just prior to his disappearance.  This quarter, it's more of the same only now, we have a missing artifact, a possible sighting of Jeff AND if that's not enough, the Cyber Kid, it appears, is becoming paranoid delusional!?... Where will it end folks?  <dramatic voice>  What has fate in store for our beloved organization?  Will they find Jeff?  Will find the ever powerful Coil?  Will they thwart the mastermind behind this seemingly, yet unknown evil plot?  Find out next quarter...  same FUBAR Website, Same FUBAR time!?...  <dramatic music>

So, until next quarter when we bring you the exciting and hopeful conclusion to this unbelievable and "non-stop" season of FUBARHQ!  This has again been your faithful reporter,

Dave "Cyber Kid" - CEO/Founder FUBAR's est.1989
PS - There's also a bunch of new pics of Little Dudicus, new FOTQ and various other goodies!  "Woo Hoo" - You said it Jeffrey! ... Wherever you are?...

Dave CEO/Founder FUBAR's est.1989


News FUBARchives

FNC ANNEX 1-2007
FNC ANNEX 10-2006
FNC ANNEX 7-2006
FNC ANNEX 3-2006
FNC ANNEX 1-2006
FNC ANNEX 11-2005
FNC ANNEX 10-2005
FNC ANNEX 7-2005
FNC ANNEX 5-2005
FNC ANNEX 3-2005
FNC ANNEX 1-2005
FNC ANNEX 11-2004
FNC ANNEX 7-2004
FNC ANNEX 5-2004
FNC ANNEX 1-2004
FNC ANNEX 3-2003
FNC ANNEX 11-2002
FNC ANNEX 9-2002
FNC ANNEX 6-2002
FNC ANNEX 3-2002
FNC ANNEX 11-2001
FNC ANNEX 8-2001
FNC ANNEX 7-2001
FNC ANNEX 3-2001
FNC ANNEX 10-2000
FNC ANNEX 7-2000
FNC ANNEX 3-2000
FNC ANNEX 11-1999C
FNC ANNEX 11-1999B
FNC ANNEX 11-1999A