are we this
early first quarter of 2010? - 20-Freakin'-10 people!!!
Where has the first decade of the 21st century gone? And where's
my flying freakin' car? (Seriously, when will the Jetson's become
Anyway, forgive me I
digress;... If you recall we left you at the end of 2009 with
promises of FUBAR 2009 reunion news but we will preempt that with the big story of 2010 ("twenty-ten" is what the hip kids are
calling it!?) Just a mere 20 years (not a typo) ago a small boy
named Dave had a dream - A dream of forming a modest little
softball team named "The FUBAR's" Well the dream, as you know,
became little more than a reality with the FUBAR's becoming a dynasty
and the most celebrated softball franchise of ERAU history.
Spanning nearly 12 years of continuous play with 8 consecutive seasons
and an additional three after a short "hiatus" the FUBAR Empire has
culminated with the internet phenom known as
domination still lingers just beyond the dynasty's grasp yet, it is
However, all of this would not have been possible
without the inspiration behind the FUBAR team and of course it's
legendary name. So, humor us if you will... (yes boys and girls
it's time for a little "FUBAR'S" history refresher!?...)
Men Wear Black" (c.
The "FUBAR's" dynasty of Daytona Beach, FL had it's roots firmly
planted back in it's founder's hometown of New York City where
legendary "FUBAR" Bill "Thrillseeker" M. once played for the
championship arc-ball league Bronx's Jesse James FUBAR's
The Jesse James FUBAR's were the Bronx arc-ball league champions
back in 1988 and having been a fan for years watching the James gang
build their own winning roster; it was only fate that our very own
FUBAR's Founder/CEO would find himself positioned solidly in right
field one fateful day.
It was a sunny afternoon, with a lead of some 5 runs, Dave
"the littlest leaguer" was invited by Jesse James own to suit up... It
had been the culmination of years of watching from the
sidelines on his KENT Magnum BMX bike and so with a brand new,
well-oiled glove in hand, the dream began...
"Gen. Joe Rooney leads the
boys to battle" Jesse James Gang (c. 1989)
dream began that was
until the second batter?... With a runner on
first, the opposing team brought up their number four batter... a
behemoth of a man and not surprisingly, a lefty! It took only
three pitches before the "Hulk" took a massive swing
and cracked one to right. (Now in defense of the
Cyber Kid... he didn't make a rookie move and jump forward however,
the ball was a blast!) So, hit
probably some 300+ feet, it was screaming
to right field and from the crack of the bat, the Cyber Kid
knew he was in the shallow with no chance to make a play,
so, he turned tail and ran like the 5-0 were
With just two bounces, the Cyber Kid snagged the ball and turning,
took a single, purposeful step, launching it back
infield... Now there was no play
at the plate, no glory of the out however,
as Yoda might say, "An inside the park homer
allowed, it was not.."
Thanks to the sloth-like ability of their
clean-up batter, the Cyber Kid was able to
embarrassment and keep the guy on third but, for all intent and
purpose - he got burned and in doing so, a valuable lesson
was learned... don't get
Kid - FUBARS DAB (c. 1990)
After that fateful day,
with the dream (and insight) in hand, the Cyber Kid headed off
to Daytona Beach, FL. where the prospect of a organizing a softball
lingered. So, in the spring, Dave went off and grabbed an intramural roster form.
Fielding the team of mainly dorm rats and the like, and sneaking the
name "FUBARS" through the "proper
and respectful name" committee (J.B.) the dream was alive...
Suffice to say, you all know the rest of this story... Or at
least you know most of it? Many of you have been involved in
all, most or merely parts of it but, take this to heart, at
some time in your sports career you once played as a FUBAR.
Still today, the FUBAR's softball legacy is the most successful
intramural franchise in ERAU history and it is more than likely one
of the most successful organizations you've been affiliated with.
It's a team with a history long before our beginnings, an organization
that continues to "live" (at least in spirit) in most of us and one
that taught us many life-lessons - dedication, patience, hard work,
sacrifice, practice and most importantly friendship...
a swing; the early days - FUBARS DAB (c. 1990)
It has been a pleasure to have known each and every one of
you as colleagues and fellow ball players. The FUBARS and FUBARHQ
empire will continue so long as this "office" continues to function
and will hopefully continue long afterward in our legacies...
So, stay tuned as the Cyber Kid along with the FUBAR News Corporation will
be continuing the FUBAR 20th Anniversary celebration all year long!
- Exclusive interviews and news, brand new content and merchandise,
a Cyber Kid US tour and hints of a possible 20th Anniversary reunion
are all in the works... Keep checking the FUBAR News
Corporation for all the details and event happenings!
Now, back to "real" stuff... With all the 20th Anniversary hoopla,
many of our "constituents" fear the Cyber Kid's focus
will falter with the 20th Anniversary happenings.
However, he has assured everyone in the latest press
conference that he will continue to maintain a careful strategy
towards his run for the 2036 presidency;
"We have time people. It's not like the election is in four
years or anything. We have 26 years kids. We'll make sure we
continue to push for more exposure but keep in mind that "none" of
this would be possible without the FUBAR's. So it is with that
that I feel it's important to remember our heritage and not forget
why and how we are in the position we are in!" the Cyber Kid said.
"Sounds like a cheap excuse to take a year off if you ask me."
Chris "Skeptical" Roth was overheard saying... "Yeah what he
said!" was also added from Jeff "E",
also sitting in
the "peanut gallery."
immortalized in plastic.
Dave has ensured us
here at the HQ that despite the sabbatical,
the FUBAR marketing team will continue the
ever popular (and growing)
"Vote For Dave. Get Free Wings!!!"
program will remain in full sWing.
for our benefit we are once
again entitled to the exclusive on the newest campaign posters coming soon to a bathroom
wall near you!?...
Be sure to watch FACEBOOK for updated Cyber Kid FUBAR 20th
Anniversary, 2036 Presidential campaign and book-signing stops
coming to a city near you!!
With all the FUBAR 20th Anniversary work ahead of
us, it would seem easy to
have overlooked the shenanigans that transpired back in Nov. of 2009 at the FUBAR Reunion...
AND, despite its' small turn out,
the Cyber Kid,
Mark "not a fun-gi" Avocado, Brian "Capt. Cave-Man" Messer
managed to make their way to Daytona Beach and
attend the ritual event yet again... (Note Super-Fan Maria Avocado was also in
attendance although she took no part in any of the
"debauchery, shenanigans and hootenannies"!?)
So, as promised from last quarter...
Michelle supports the new slogan...
FUBAR REUNION 2009 NEWS!
With a dwindling attendance over the course of the past few years,
the Cyber Kid had to make some adjustments to his Reunion plans and
call out the big guns! So with mobile phone in hand, Brian
"Never to miss a photo op" Messer was called out of the caves to
bring some "life" to the party. (If you recall Brian
is from "the
kiss" fame back in the earlier part of the
millennium?) Although not technically a member of FUBAR Upper Management,
he's a good sport all the same.
FUBAR CEO/Founder Dave "Trust no one with a camera" M. and Mark
"Armadillo" were able to hook up with Brian for some FUBAR planning,
and a few photo ops!?... The rest well, is just photo history!?...
The Cyber Kid, Avo &
Cave-man take over the Deck!
You know, they say that after a few BEvERageS your
inhibitions are lowered and you "might" behave in ways that you
normally wouldn't? (By "normally" we mean not after consuming
mass quantities of BEvERageS) So, seen here at the FUBAR
Reunion is Mark "Surfer Wannabee" Avo. and Brian "I can count to
two!" M. - A local FUBAR correspondent covering the event asked
Brian and Mark for a quick photo for the FUBAR News Corp. and
Brian was quoted as saying, "You want a photo Dave? Here's a
photo? Suck it FUBAR News!"
Now normally we would find this sort of behavior unacceptable from a FUBAR of such a respected caliber but, in this particular case, we
understand that with all the "noise" in the bar (and the BEvERageS),
it "may" have been possible that the correspondent "mis-heard" what
Brian actually said!? So giving him the benefit of the doubt,
we went back to the audio from the event and had our elite team of
audio engineers re-sample, filter and frankly, figure out just
exactly what was said... Well we're happy to report that after
careful scrutiny (and a little flogging by moonlight) our audio team
was.. 'er IS "convinced" that the "actual" quote should have read
"Suck it Pooh Bear News!" - Whew!...
"Mark and I are both Number
1! - That's TWO #1's B****!"
did we dodge a bullet there!? I'm glad we're not the "Pooh
Bear News" that would be embarrassing no?!"... Dave said
at the end of a recent press conference about the incident and then,
shouted; "Hey, look! Shiny object!..." It was after this
that Dave seemingly disappeared when reporters looked back to
the podium... "Where'd he go?"...
"I dunno. That was very
Bilbo Baggins of him?!... Hey look free buffet!?...."
other Reunion News, Mark "I am smiling!" Avo and Dave "How YOU doin'"
M. took part in a little wing action at the Daytona
Beach Wing House.
After monopolizing the Hooter's scene, Dave and Mark figured they
would test the "VOTE FOR DAVE. GET FREE WINGS!!!" campaign at the "almost" famous Wing House. "Watching the New
York Yankees win there 27th (that's not a typo) World Series title
in their 40th appearance was an amazing experience and I'm glad Mark and I could take part.
The Wing House were very gracious hosts and had a lot of patience
with us! We understand the FUBAR's can be a very demanding group and it's
not easy dealing with our organization's needs and requests.
They were all just great! Not a replacement for our Hooters
campaign mind you but yet another avenue by which to get the message out!
At least that's how we're approaching it so far. Watch this space!?..."
Dave said in his weekly "Status Now At the FUBAR Union" (SNAFU)
address. "It's good. Change is good!?... Wait! Not
that kind of change!?... Dammit!?..." Mark was quoted as saying!?...
Avo & The Kid w/ Catrina, a "new" FUBAR Supporter
|Just for fun the
FUBARHQ is offering up some additional shots of the FUBAR
Reunion weekend - enjoy...
|"You Gonna Eat That!?"
||"Checkin' the girders on
||"Hey ladies... Can I offer
you a ride in my "Ninja"?"
MINDLESS WEB CONTENT REMINDER
Be sure to visit the newest
in the FUBAR Publishing
News, the FUBAR Entertainment Group repertoire - CHEEKY MONKEY's photo blog/online
journal. Now with over 600+ captioned photos, the monkey is on a
And lastly, be sure to check back next quarter for
another installment of WTF...
as always, this has been your ever faithful FUBAR News Specific Website.
Until next quarter, stayed tuned for all the 20th Anniversary FUBAR
We Are Back!?...