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      That's right kids, it appears the CEO/FOUNDER of the FUBAR organization had been hospitalized for two days earlier this past week.  The FUBAR Press Corp had issued a statement explaining the hospitalization as a result of a "softball injury"  but we here at the FUBAR News Corporation however, are not buying it.  We know Dave "The Cyber Kid" had been the focus of a few attacks in the past months and feel that this was purely the work of, none other than, those same individuals who tried to overthrow the Cyber Kid back in November 2001 - particularly Mark "I call the shots" Avellino   (see photo below for the players in the previous deadly plans...)


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Photo E. depicts all the “known” players of then and believed current elusive and deadly plot against The Cyber Kid.  Note here a few things…

1. Jesse has his right arm where?  Hidden, very suspect if you ask us.  Why not show us your arm Mr. Rhodes, what are you hiding?

2. Notice Jesse’s left hand on Steve's bulging sweaty bicep!?... – It's still there!?...

3. Mark “the shark” although has been quiet lately, could not and cannot explain his sudden need for yet another LARGE animal of the canine variety (a Neapolitan Mastiff) to patrol his estate?  That's brings his count of vicious dogs up to three!  Can you say the word "suspicious" boys and girls?

4. Brian “I'm clear on all of this.  I have an alibi” Messer is believed to be in fact clear - at the moment...

5. Damn that Cyber Kid is still one good-looking dude.


        So, why do we refute the FUBAR Press Corp statement, let us explain.   The FUBAR News Corporation feels that Dave "The Cyber Kid" was not injured during a sporting event, but rather, the victim of yet another vicious plot by Mark "The Grandfather" Avellino.  FNC has just obtained the following photo which was taken only days before Dave's sudden "injury."   The picture shows our fearless leader in the hands of, none other than, the infamous "deadly duo" hit-squad of Kevin the "Strike Out Kid" and Denise "The Bulls-eye" Russo. (see photo below.)


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The FNC would like to note a couple things here...

A. Denise has that look of innocence correct?  That is what she wants you to believe.  This look, coincidentally, is the same look she had on her face as reported by yet another victim of hers in the greater Chicago area.  She was quoted as saying she only, "had a little business to discuss with the dirtbag?"  The victim was left with a lengthy hospital stay and sucking his meal down with a straw!?

B.  Kevin, the ruthless muscle behind the deadly duo, has his smile that gives new meaning to the word "Wry." This smile is as notorious as the man is himself and has been used on many occasion when taking care of the, as he likes to refer to them, "scumbags."


       So, how does this new evidence implicate Mark?   Let us tell you.  Firstly, Despite the FUBAR Press release stating a sporting injury, FNC noted that Dave "The Cyber Kid" still managed to bat a 2 for 3 game with 4 runs, an RBI and 2 walks.  Pretty suspect for a guy who was "injured" during the game. 

       Secondly, The deadly duo of Denise "Guns blazin" and Kevin "Busta-cap in yo @$$" Russo have been out of contact with the FUBAR Upper Management for well over a year and suddenly they are not only contacting the Cyber Kid, but visiting his home city, the same city which houses the FUBAR HQ?  FNC asked the two - "Why they were in Dallas?" and "What "business" were they attending to?" and they merely blew off our questions and said, "You wanna know our bizness chief? You tawk to our loyas buddy."

       Those two facts alone should raise the flags for anyone but, the third, that Mark "The Puppet-Master" has merely been lurking behind the scenes all this time is the most chilling of all the details.  We at the FNC plan to get to the bottom of this tragic event and, in the meantime, leave you, the reader, with all of this information to make your own determination.  It seems as though our "friend" Mark, who has been very quiet the past couple months, has actually been a very busy boy and appeared to have hired himself some of the deadliest persons in the known world.  What will this spell for the Cyber Kid and the FUBAR Organization?  Certainly, he must see the connection and be planing a strategic defense?  Only time will tell now folks and as always, when we learn more, so shall you...

       There you have it, once again the FUBAR News Corporation has yet again fallen victim to a diabolical scheme.  CEO/Founder Dave "The Cyber Kid” has eluded the enemy before and we promise you, he will do so yet again.  Until next quarter, this has been your faithful and always “sober” reporter, just making it up as I go along…

Dave “Cyber Kid”


FUBAR’S est. 1989

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