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AJ Attack on The Cyber Kid!

       Well kids, we got it.  The eyewitness that went "toe to toe" with the creature known as "A.J." has been found.  In a strange twist in this developing story, Dave "The Cyber Kid" (FUBARS CEO/Founder) called into the FUBAR Management office moments after press time saying it was in fact himself that was charged by the A.J.  In a press statement, The Cyber Kid said, "I was following a lead we just got about the sighting, so I hopped in the FUBAR-mobile and headed off to investigate for myself.  It sure did look like the elusive A.J., so I stopped just a few yards from him and getting my camera ready, he charged my vehicle.  It was all I could to keep my grip on the camera and prevent any serious injury.  He was quite agile for such a lumbering creature.  I managed to grab a few shots during the exchange, but unfortunately they are out of focus.  I have the FNC Photographic Forensic Team (FNC-PhForT) currently running a Basic Uni-Lateral Lens Spectral High-Intensity Telemetry test on the photo to clean it up.  Utilizing the power of our state of the art super-computers at FNC, we should know what it looks like in a couple weeks.  Hopefully putting everyone's minds at ease in this matter.  I know the A.J.  It's not the vicious beast the public has made it out to be; It's just confused.  As modern western civilization continues to build into his domain, it's only natural to run across him more often as he is forced to relocate often.  Hopefully, as the construction and development begins to slow, he'll be able to find an area safe from our big machines, vehicles and strange buildings and we can all cohabit peacefully.  So until next time, I Thank you for your time."  

       There you have it, straight from the boss.  The Cyber Kid press release went on to explain in further detail the BULLS**T test being preformed on his photo which would analyze the photographic blur for motion, angle, light-intensity, color analysis and then painstakingly, over some undetermined amount of time, recreate the image as if it had not been blurred.  (Note: As of time of publishing, the FNC-PhForT has indeed deemed The Cyber Kid's photo authentic, so it's just a matter of time.)

       FNC phones were again at peak fielding calls about the "Cyber Kid incident." sighting and local law enforcement officials are continuing to interview high to mid level FNC management for further details.  One mid-level FNC official said in a press release (It was Jeff "Dude, I switched to diet" Engel)  "An A.J. wow, haven't seen one of them in what almost ten years.  I used to hunt them for sport until they became nearly extinct in the mid 90's.  Man would I love to hang one of those above my mantle.  <polishing gun> ...  I mean if it was still legal and all... <click - click>  I mean I'd only shoot one now if it was legal of course, or... self defense. Good thing it was The Cyber kid who ran across him and not me, you'd have more than a picture to analyze I'll tell you what!"

       Below is the photo being analyzed by the FNC-PhForT.  You can see the beginning of the analysis at differing stages... 

The "Cyber Kid Incident" photo - prior to the BULLS**T test being conducted by the FNC-PhForT

Photo at 350 microns Photo at 300 micons Photo at 250 microns

The "Cyber Kid Incident" photo - after 25% of the BULLS**T test completed by the FNC-PhForT


       Well gang, as soon as we get the photo completed from the FNC-PhForT, we'll be sure to leave you entirely out of the loop and sell it to the tabloids first!  As for the torrid love affair between Chris "Cy Young" Roth and himself?   Well...you'll just have to wait for the Sunday night made-for-TV movie to learn about that little dysfunctional relationship!?  Other than that, stayed here for all your local late night news which will air, in their entirety, after this program on some other channel.

       Oh, by the way, The FUBARHQ.com has added a whole new page of ALEX photos, a  new Movie Review,  new FOTQ and various other crap... uh, we mean stuff - good stuff.   Lots and lots of good stuff.

So, Until next time, your somewhat faithful reporter -

Dave "The Cyber Kid"

CEO/Founder FUBAR's est.1989


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