Hello Fubarians and
How are you this first quarter of '08? Well
let us tell you, it's been an extremely busy and action-packed fourth quarter '07 for the FUBARians
and FUBAR Organization!? Aside from the continued development of the
newest member's of the FUBAR family (Kevin, Jeff "E" and Cyber Kid's kids)
the FUBAR Organization has been just, for lack of a better word - hectic.
So, what exactly has been going on? Well grab a seat and read on my
small band of dedicated followers -
Organization closed down the third quarter of '07 with 3 birth
announcements and, as if that wasn't enough, the FUBAR War Machine was
apparently only just beginning to build its' momentum. First
there was the attendance by FUBAR Upper Management's - Game Evaluation,
Examination and Knowledge (GEEK) Team to the annual Sci-Fi/Fantasy Expo.
The GEEK Team's continued development of the new game - The Sun Never Sets (TSNS)
slated for "limited" release in Q1 2008! Then a Road Trip by the FUBAR
"Royal Family" to
central Florida for the Disney excursion and shenanigans and finally off to
Daytona for the 9th Annual FUBAR Reunion and FUBAR-B-Que! (More below.)
After all of which saw the FUBARHQ host a dozen for it's "Annual Refugee
Christmas Roast" and followed up with Jeff "E"lusive and the Cyber Kid
ploting, 'er we mean ringing in the New Year FUBAR style (which means lots
of food and in bed by 11:00pm.) All in all, probably one of the most
productive and quick Q4's in the FUBAR News Corp's "brief" 18 year
history. "Who said brief?" "Uh, no one sir." "Was it you Rothy?...
You're fired!" "But I don't even work for the FUBAR's."
"Sure. That's what they all say. You're still fired anyway!?"
"Dude, Dave is nuts!"
So, speaking so lowly of Rothy, let's get down to business, shall we?
What exactly was going on during the 9th Annual FUBAR Reunion and FUBAR-B-Que.
Well much to our surprise, there actually was a Bar-B-Que; hosted by Mark
"Grill-vellino" who cooked up some mighty tasty ribs and some more
cockamamie schemes in the process!? - One of which was to advise the Cyber
Kid that he should take the FUBAR Organization "public." The Cyber Kid
had this to say about the idea, "Public? What's he talking about?
We're already on the internet!"... "Um. I think he means an IPO.
Stocks, you know, that sort of thing?"... "Stocks! IPO?
Craziness. The FUBARS are mine people! Mine! You'll never
get them. Never, ha ha ha. I'll have them all... and you're
little dog too!" ... "Too much sir." ... "Too much, really?" ... "Much
so sir." ... "Dammit. I thought that was..." ... "Too much sir."
<head shaking no more> ... "No. No. You're right, to much...
So, as I was saying ladies and gentlemen. We will of course look at
all possible options for the continued economic stability of the FUBAR
Organization and take the appropriate actions. Thank you, that's all
the time that I have." ... "Much better sir." ... "Shut Up Gordy!"
So aside from the FUBAR-B-Que, there was a reunion, sort of, by three FUBAR
Hall-Of-Famers. (Period.) However, the limited attendance is not important,
what most fans want to know is why there were no photos of the three men
together, just the two individual pics taken below?...
Kid and a "Gore-ish" Chris "Sticky Thumbs" Roth
"Nice Shirt" Avocado and the "Rothster"
These two photos were released in a local newspaper
sometime ago (like mid-November) and came to our attention just recently
(found them in a file on one of our staffer's computers - subsequently fired
we might add!?) Many reader's called in to find out just what the back
story was and as a renowned journalistic organization, we did just that ...
The answer is simple but for you clueless ones out there we'll spell it out
- Roth can't stand Dave. "It's obvious looking at the two pictures..."
FUBAR Hall of Famer #7 Jeff "E"vading Authorities said after being shown the
photos; "Just look at Chris' posture; the forced smile, the stiffness (not
that Ed!), the uncomfortable atmosphere - I've seen it a thousand times.
Heck, I know exactly how he feels just look at any picture of me and the
Dave. We can't stand the guy!" ... After which when he was informed
that his comments would be, in fact, printed in the next FUBAR News Corp's
web edition, he was quoted as saying most eloquently; "Crap!" When
asked to comment on the Mark/Chris photo, Jeff had this to add, "Oh right,
sure, see if I'll fall for another one. Sure, see if I'll say that
Mark could care less what Roth has to say and that he thinks he's a "brash
loudmouth over-talker" Or maybe, maybe I'll say that that Chris is just
being "polite to Mark for Dave's sake" and that he thinks Mark is a "Washed
up old has-been who couldn't catch a grounder if a 3 year old hit it to
him." Yeah, you'd love that, wouldn't you if I said all that?" ...
When informed that he had said all that and that it would also be printed;
... Jeff became "E"nvisible!?... OK, so anyway,
What else actually happened during this FUBAR Reunion you ask?
Well here's all the goings on in a nutshell -
Actually, there was a little more but, nothing that we want to share with
you. You know, privileged information and all that. However, as
fine journalists, we will share a couple more pics with you and ask for
you're help identifying the culprit(s). Both photos were sent to the
FUBAR News Corporation Headquarters addressed to the Cyber Kid, labeled,
"This is what I think of you, your organization and your stupid f******
Please! If you, or anyone you know has any idea as to the
identity of this man, please come forward. There will be
absolutely no HUGE REWARD for your efforts but
we will make an honorable mention in the fine print on page 36.
"Um, sir, there is no page 36." "Exactly you twit, now
get out of my bathroom!? ... AND GET ME A LATTE!"
Anyway, please if you know anything of this matter, we here at the
FNC urge you to come forward. If you are the actual person who
perpetrated this violent and heinous crime against our organization
and/or the Cyber Kid, we promise no more harm
will come to you after we have severely beaten you to
within inches of your pathetic excuse of a life if you come
FNC thanks everyone in advance for
their attention to this matter...
"Sir, doesn't that look like Mark ?"
"I will have no such talk! Now again, would everyone kindly
GET OUT OF MY BATHROOM!"
Our second photo is much more damning folks and we warn you now; If
you are pregnant, about to become pregnant, have a low tolerance to images
of blood or violence, trouble urinating and/or are susceptible to motion
sickness, you may wish to skim past this next image...
"LO! Avert your gaze lest though be
turned to stone." OK, maybe not that bad but WTF over?
So we here at the FNC are just baffled by this image. However,
there is a simple explanation. After sending this image to our
in the FUBAR PHOTO Dept. it was determined that this image is a
fake. "Simply no one could have a tongue this hideous.
Well maybe some members of the rock band KISS or perhaps Ron "The
Serpent" Doles?" said Ed "I sweat "1's" and "0's" Gordon (HEAD
Dept. - FUBARS.) So there you have it folks, we can, in good
conscious write this one off to mere internet trickery!?
"Trickery? Trickery? I'll have you know there's no
trickery, that is indeed his tongue and it's hideous and grotesque,
like the demon that he is."
"Um, Mrs. Cyber Kid,
that's your husband you're talking about."
"Wha... really? ...
Wait, let me see that picture... nope, that's still his tongue and
THAT nose too, all hairy ... yuck!" <chills>
OK ladies and gentlemen, it's over, it's OK to look now. For
those that left the theatre, you may return to your seats and we
will continue our regularly scheduled broadcast.
So, that's all we have from the grand old 9th Annual FUBAR Reunion.
Perhaps during our 10th Year we will have a major turnout (and by
major, we mean more that 3-5!?) and really turn up the FUBAR Volume.
Well OK, the FNC does most of that! But the more the merrier
no? Anyway, better say Adios to the 9th annual and start to
plan for the next FUBAR-B-Que! Watch this space folks,
watch this space ...
So, elsewhere in FUBAR News, when we left you
last quarter we were all in shock and awe by the following photo (see
right) of Jeff and Tanya's beautiful baby girl AFTER Jeff "E"yball E
got busy on her orbs like he was sucking down some hard boiled's!
Well, we're happy to say that after some time with the FUBAR Optical
Team , Eme is doing great and back at home with Dad - Court ordered
and all that? (However, for good measure we took a file to his teeth
and "dulled them down real good!?")
"We here at the FNC do have to say, we're not convinced that he's
over this habit, but I guess we'll just have to wait and see?"
the Cyber Kid was quoted as saying at a recent press conference (the
one about the economic future of the FUBAR Oraginzation.) "I
have to say, it's quite disturbing to see a guy THAT hungry. I
mean what's a dozen eggs cost anyway, couple bucks? Heck, the
FNC would've bought him, at least, a half dozen if he just asked?"
"half dozen eggs" would require a small nominal
"set-up" fee of $29.95 for the first month and $14.95 each month
thereafter for maintenance and observation. Egg consumption
and the consumption of raw foods may induce severe injury or
possibly even death. The FUBAR News Corporation and its
affiliates do not endorse such activities, although we may engage in
them on very rare and infrequent occasion.
prohibited. Valid while supplies last.
So, that's about all we have for you. Be sure to check out the DARTH M
news for more Disney images as well as the
Little Dude and Little Rabbit (aka Alex &
Jessica) photo and video pages to see the latest and greatest (over 150
images and 4 movies added!!!)
So my beloved supporters, that's about all the news there is to fabricate, 'er
we mean "report" this quarter. If you didn't find anything of
value this time around, keep in mind what you paid for admission and
remember, there is always next quarter, so check back in 3 months! Oh,
and again, here's another installment of the FUBAR News Corporation's new segment; WTF...
Want a Nipple w/ That Dave?
Restaurant? Something we need to discuss?
Still on decaf - most nights anyway!? Until next quarter, this has again been your faithful