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FUBARHQ

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DARTH M

 

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FUBAR NEWS

 

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NEWS

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01/14/2008

Four words - "Ninth Annual FUBAR Reunion!"

Mark the "Armadillo" w/ Dave the "Cyber Kid" and Alex "Little Dude" (FUBARHQ Heir Apparent) tearin' it up at Walt Disney World - Orlando.

      

       Hello Fubarians and "random" visitors,  How are you this first quarter of '08?  Well let us tell you, it's been an extremely busy and action-packed fourth quarter '07 for the FUBARians and FUBAR Organization!?  Aside from the continued development of the newest member's of the FUBAR family (Kevin, Jeff "E" and Cyber Kid's kids) the FUBAR Organization has been just, for lack of a better word - hectic.  So, what exactly has been going on?  Well grab a seat and read on my small band of dedicated followers -

       The FUBAR Organization closed down the third quarter of  '07 with 3 birth announcements and, as if that wasn't enough, the FUBAR War Machine was apparently only just beginning to build its' momentum.   First there was the attendance by FUBAR Upper Management's - Game Evaluation, Examination and Knowledge (GEEK) Team to the annual Sci-Fi/Fantasy Expo.  The GEEK Team's continued development of the new game - The Sun Never Sets (TSNS) slated for "limited" release in Q1 2008!  Then a Road Trip by the FUBAR "Royal Family" to central Florida for the Disney excursion and shenanigans and finally off to Daytona for the 9th Annual FUBAR Reunion and FUBAR-B-Que! (More below.)  After all of which saw the FUBARHQ host a dozen for it's "Annual Refugee Christmas Roast" and followed up with Jeff "E"lusive and the Cyber Kid ploting, 'er we mean ringing in the New Year FUBAR style (which means lots of food and in bed by 11:00pm.)  All in all, probably one of the most productive and quick Q4's in the FUBAR News Corp's "brief"  18 year history.  "Who said brief?" "Uh, no one sir." "Was it you Rothy?... You're fired!"  "But I don't even work for the FUBAR's."  "Sure.  That's what they all say.  You're still fired anyway!?"  "Dude, Dave is nuts!

       So, speaking so lowly of Rothy, let's get down to business, shall we?  What exactly was going on during the 9th Annual FUBAR Reunion and FUBAR-B-Que.  Well much to our surprise, there actually was a Bar-B-Que; hosted by Mark "Grill-vellino" who cooked up some mighty tasty ribs and some more cockamamie schemes in the process!? - One of which was to advise the Cyber Kid that he should take the FUBAR Organization "public."  The Cyber Kid had this to say about the idea, "Public?  What's he talking about?  We're already on the internet!"... "Um.  I think he means an IPO.   Stocks, you know, that sort of thing?"... "Stocks!  IPO?  Craziness.  The FUBARS are mine people!  Mine!  You'll never get them.  Never, ha ha ha.  I'll have them all... and you're little dog too!" ... "Too much sir." ... "Too much, really?" ... "Much so sir." ... "Dammit.  I thought that was..." ... "Too much sir." <head shaking no more> ... "No. No. You're right, to much...   So, as I was saying ladies and gentlemen.  We will of course look at all possible options for the continued economic stability of the FUBAR Organization and take the appropriate actions.  Thank you, that's all the time that I have." ... "Much better sir." ... "Shut Up Gordy!"  So aside from the FUBAR-B-Que, there was a reunion, sort of, by three FUBAR Hall-Of-Famers. (Period.) However, the limited attendance is not important, what most fans want to know is why there were no photos of the three men together, just the two individual pics taken below?...

Cyber Kid and a "Gore-ish" Chris "Sticky Thumbs" Roth Mark "Nice Shirt" Avocado and the "Rothster"

       These two photos were released in a local newspaper sometime ago (like mid-November) and came to our attention just recently (found them in a file on one of our staffer's computers - subsequently fired we might add!?)  Many reader's called in to find out just what the back story was and as a renowned journalistic organization, we did just that ...

       The answer is simple but for you clueless ones out there we'll spell it out - Roth can't stand Dave.  "It's obvious looking at the two pictures..." FUBAR Hall of Famer #7 Jeff "E"vading Authorities said after being shown the photos; "Just look at Chris' posture; the forced smile, the stiffness (not that Ed!), the uncomfortable atmosphere - I've seen it a thousand times.  Heck, I know exactly how he feels just look at any picture of me and the Dave.  We can't stand the guy!" ... After which when he was informed that his comments would be, in fact, printed in the next FUBAR News Corp's web edition, he was quoted as saying most eloquently; "Crap!"  When asked to comment on the Mark/Chris photo, Jeff had this to add, "Oh right, sure, see if I'll fall for another one.  Sure, see if I'll say that Mark could care less what Roth has to say and that he thinks he's a "brash loudmouth over-talker" Or maybe, maybe I'll say that that Chris is just being "polite to Mark for Dave's sake" and that he thinks Mark is a "Washed up old has-been who couldn't catch a grounder if a 3 year old hit it to him." Yeah, you'd love that, wouldn't you if I said all that?" ...  When informed that he had said all that and that it would also be printed; ... Jeff became "E"nvisible!?... OK, so anyway,

       What else actually happened during this FUBAR Reunion you ask?  Well here's all the goings on in a nutshell -

       Actually, there was a little more but, nothing that we want to share with you.  You know, privileged information and all that.  However, as fine journalists, we will share a couple more pics with you and ask for you're help identifying the culprit(s).  Both photos were sent to the FUBAR News Corporation Headquarters addressed to the Cyber Kid, labeled, "This is what I think of you, your organization and your stupid f****** website." -

       Please!  If you, or anyone you know has any idea as to the identity of this man, please come forward.  There will be absolutely no HUGE REWARD for your efforts but we will make an honorable mention in the fine print on page 36.  "Um, sir, there is no page 36."  "Exactly you twit, now get out of my bathroom!? ... AND GET ME A LATTE!"

       Anyway, please if you know anything of this matter, we here at the FNC urge you to come forward.  If you are the actual person who perpetrated this violent and heinous crime against our organization and/or the Cyber Kid, we promise no more harm will come to you after we have severely beaten you to within inches of your pathetic excuse of a life if you come forward.

        FNC thanks everyone in advance for their attention to this matter...

       "Sir, doesn't that look like Mark ?"

       "I will have no such talk!  Now again, would everyone kindly GET OUT OF MY BATHROOM!"

       Our second photo is much more damning folks and we warn you now;  If you are pregnant, about to become pregnant, have a low tolerance to images of blood or violence, trouble urinating and/or are susceptible to motion sickness, you may wish to skim past this next image...

       "LO!  Avert your gaze lest though be turned to stone."   OK, maybe not that bad but WTF over?  So we here at the FNC are just baffled by this image.  However, there is a simple explanation.  After sending this image to our resident ‹ber-dorks in the FUBAR PHOTO Dept. it was determined that this image is a fake.  "Simply no one could have a tongue this hideous.  Well maybe some members of the rock band KISS or perhaps Ron "The Serpent" Doles?" said Ed "I sweat "1's" and "0's" Gordon (HEAD ber-dork Dept. - FUBARS.) So there you have it folks, we can, in good conscious write this one off to mere internet trickery!?  "Trickery?  Trickery?  I'll have you know there's no trickery, that is indeed his tongue and it's hideous and grotesque, like the demon that he is." 

"Um, Mrs. Cyber Kid, that's your husband you're talking about."

"Wha... really? ... Wait, let me see that picture... nope, that's still his tongue and THAT nose too, all hairy ... yuck!" <chills>

   
       OK ladies and gentlemen, it's over, it's OK to look now.  For those that left the theatre, you may return to your seats and we will continue our regularly scheduled broadcast. 

       So, that's all we have from the grand old 9th Annual FUBAR Reunion.  Perhaps during our 10th Year we will have a major turnout (and by major, we mean more that 3-5!?) and really turn up the FUBAR Volume.  Well OK, the FNC does most of that!  But the more the merrier no?  Anyway, better say Adios to the 9th annual and start to plan for the next FUBAR-B-Que!   Watch this space folks, watch this space ...

   
       So, elsewhere in FUBAR News, when we left you last quarter we were all in shock and awe by the following photo (see right) of Jeff and Tanya's beautiful baby girl AFTER Jeff "E"yball E got busy on her orbs like he was sucking down some hard boiled's!  Well, we're happy to say that after some time with the FUBAR Optical Team , Eme is doing great and back at home with Dad - Court ordered and all that? (However, for good measure we took a file to his teeth and "dulled them down real good!?")

       "We here at the FNC do have to say, we're not convinced that he's over this habit, but I guess we'll just have to wait and see?"  the Cyber Kid was quoted as saying at a recent press conference (the one about the economic future of the FUBAR Oraginzation.)  "I have to say, it's quite disturbing to see a guy THAT hungry.  I mean what's a dozen eggs cost anyway, couple bucks?  Heck, the FNC would've bought him, at least, a half dozen if he just asked?"  he added.

"half dozen eggs" would require a small nominal "set-up" fee of $29.95 for the first month and $14.95 each month thereafter for maintenance and observation.  Egg consumption and the consumption of raw foods may induce severe injury or possibly even death.  The FUBAR News Corporation and its affiliates do not endorse such activities, although we may engage in them on very rare and infrequent occasion.  Void where prohibited.  Valid while supplies last.

 

       So, that's about all we have for you.  Be sure to check out the DARTH M news for more Disney images as well as the Little Dude and Little Rabbit (aka Alex & Jessica) photo and video pages to see the latest and greatest (over 150 images and 4 movies added!!!)

       So my beloved supporters, that's about all the news there is to fabricate, 'er we mean "report" this quarter.  If you didn't find anything of value this time around, keep in mind what you paid for admission and remember, there is always next quarter, so check back in 3 months!  Oh, and again, here's another installment of the FUBAR News Corporation's new segment; WTF...

Want a Nipple w/ That Dave?

Watch the hands Grandpa!?...

Mark?  Restaurant? Something we need to discuss?

      Still on decaf - most nights anyway!?  Until next quarter, this has again been your faithful reporter,

Dave "Cyber Kid" - CEO/Founder FUBAR's est.1989

 

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