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fubar News Corporation
copyright 1999. All rights reserved.  Fubar news corporation, dallas, texas.

Was it all just a conspiracy?

Rhodes 1999

“The Daytona Three” - from left “The Boss”, Jesse “the Body” and Mark “the Good Fella”


       “Conspiracy ladies and gentlemen, it just that plain and simple”  These were the words uttered at a recent press conference by sources close to these three men.  You can see pictured above the three co-conspirators:  Dave “playing ‘em like a fiddle" - FUBAR News Corp. Founder and CEO, Jesse “Psycho” Rhodes (the same man allegedly accused of shooting Dave just over a year ago?  Notice the similar “rifle scope” he’s holding again!?) and lastly Mark “shifty” Avellino who was, until this photo came to light, believed to be the source behind the Cyber-Kid shooting cover-up and an arch-rival of the great FUBAR entrepreneur?  So just what the hell is going on then?  Well, it appears that we’ve either been had or these guys have really put their differences aside and made amends?  Sources to the Cyber Kid had this to say, “I’m not sure I can give you the full details on the situation, but we’ll leave it at the three men in question have agreed to work together toward a common goal.”  No mention of this “goal” was made.  Jesse “Psycho” Rhodes was unavailable for comment but has been believed to be linked to a “tribal” cult in Daytona Beach, FL. and we are wondering if this is the “common goal” they spoke of?  Members of this organization call the group the “Get Really Drunk and Make an Ass of Yourself Cult” (or the GRDMAYC) and many cult members have been indicted on several counts of disorderly conduct and performing actions which could be classified as “a bunch of hippy crap!” according to locals.  Mark “I’ve run with that group before” Avellino - Founder/CEO of Avellino Inc. (A Inc) had this comment for FNC, “Hey man, it’s like this; you like someone, then you don’t, then you give them a “B” and watch it cause the ulcers to form!  It’s freaking magical, you know what I’m saying?  Anyway, after that’s all said and done Dave, the Cyber-Kid, and I sat down and had a bit of a “business meeting.  Now I won’t lie to you, there was alcohol involved, but we figured we were both chasing after the same thing - Total World Domination, so why not pool our resources for the greater good?...and thus here we are world, FUBAR News Co/Avellino Inc. merged once again under the FUBAR Mega-pire name and all I can say is,  I think you hear us knockin’ !?...  Besides, the Cyber Kid gave me an offer I couldn’t refuse!?...”

            Many sources still believe this merger between FNC and A Inc. was nothing but the summation of a larger fabricated scandal orchestrated and implemented by two very clever and devious individuals..and that Rhodes kid too?...  Brian “The professor” Messer was interviewed on the matter recently after having been in camp FUBAR in Daytona Beach not too long ago.  Taken completely out of context, he had this to say, “I spent a lot of time with Dave and Mark during that weekend, but you know I was pretty gone.  I mean I can say they looked pretty comfortable with one another and there didn’t seem to be any hard feelings.  Almost like there never really was a problem?  I mean Dave brought up the whole “Mark f***ing gave me a “B”! thing and of course “Avellino lost the FUBAR name; f***ing spineless @$$!  But other than that, it was all laughs and probably a little too much huggin’ if you know what I mean!?” 

            Still many believe in retrospect (that means “looking back on it” Jesse...) that the entire break up of the upper FUBAR echelon over a couple years ago was all for some ulterior purpose.  One theory being brought to the table is that the entire plot was orchestrated by this man...



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